Realization
by saffiremoon21
Summary: FE: SS, SethxEirika A thousand little ways to realize I love you...a collection of drabbles and oneshots
1. Looking Down at You

Well, I'm not sure this is a great idea or what. I'm not used to writing fics for anything other than FullMetal Alchemist, but we'll see what happens. I just got Sacred Stones, and although I've played through it once, there's a LOT more that needs to be uncovered, so if some of my details or whatnot are wrong, please correct me. I'm still getting used to writing for this. Anyway. Let's start on a happy drabble, shall we?

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It was a strong breeze, so strong it threatened to drag Eirika down, but she didn't mind. It was part of the reason she loved it up here, high on the castle battlements. The strong winds meant that except for the ever-present soldiers on guard, she was mostly alone.

And, most importantly, to her, she was able to get a very good view of the training grounds for the knights of Renais. Usually, Seth would be out there, working with the trainees or whoever happened to need a little extra boost in their skills. If she was really lucky, he'd practice by himself. That was always a sight to behold. Seth wasn't Renais's youngest general for nothing; his swordplay was simply amazing, and when he practiced alone he would fly into the most intricate maneuvers.

He took her breath away. Even though she practiced whenever she could (which, to be honest, wasn't all that often- life as a princess was surprisingly demanding), she knew she'd never rise to his level of skill. This realization had made her a little upset at first, but, after all, he was a knight. He'd trained for this from a very young age. And it did make her happy to simply watch him.

She never thought he knew that she watched him. After all, she was very far up, and he did tend to get so wrapped up in his practice that she doubted he noticed much of anything else.

But today, he glanced up at her. And even though he was very far below her, she knew he was smiling at her. And she couldn't help but smile back.

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Whee. Fluff. Ish. Oh well, reviews please, tell me what you like/dislike, and don't flame please.


	2. First Lie

**Maxmagnus20019: **(oh God, I hope I spelled your name right) Ahh fluff. Where would we be without it? Thanks for your support!

**Casiana1: **Anyone who's read any of my fanfics will know that I'm not one to have ANYTHING long. It's a problem I'm trying to address, but I hate the feeling that I'm dragging things out.

**Elf Princess Kiri: **Thanks! And I'm usually hard on myself about my writing…It's just me I guess…

**MeowSap: **Hopefully more will be coming, whenever the inspiration strikes…thank you for reviewing!

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Seth had always prided himself in one thing: he never told lies. Not even as a child, though, to be truthful, he'd been overly serious and cautious when he was young and as such hadn't really found himself in a situation where he would have been pressed into lying.

When he grew older, there were times when lying definitely could have saved him a lot of bother, and such was his reputation that no one would have bothered to see if he was telling the truth or not.

But to him, it was a matter of principle. Yes, he was trusted, by the king and by Renais almost as a whole. The reason he was trusted was because he was faithful, loyal and honest. And to lie would be to break that trust. Not just to his king, but to his duty.

He'd always believed this. He held to it as firmly as he did to the other strict rules he forced himself to follow. It wasn't all that difficult for him; after all, he knew no other way to live.

Until he'd told Eirika that he would, from then on, only see her as his queen.

It was a lie. He knew it before he said it, but it was the only thing he could bring him to say. He'd spent hours debating with himself afterwards; trying to convince himself that it had been the right thing to do.

That didn't change the fact that he'd lied to her. And not just any lie either. It was a very big lie, although he still wasn't entirely comfortable admitting that even in his mind.

How was he going to tell her the truth though? As much as he hated living with the guilt of a lie on his soul, it was worse to think of telling Eirika how he really felt.

One day, he managed to summon up the courage to tell her. Standing before her, meeting her sky blue eyes, words failed him and he was left for a few moments, grasping for the right words.

In the end, it didn't come out quite as smoothly as he'd hoped it would. But he'd told her the truth, at least, and her reaction was all that he could have dreamed of.


	3. First Kiss

**Casiana1: **More detail, then? For everything? (laughs) I'll certainly try, but I'm not making any promises….

**MeowSap: **Hehehe, yes for cuteness. I shall start you all out believing that this is going to be a cute little collection and then the angst will strike!!! (evil laugh)

But this one is happy too. It's vaguely inspired by a book I like very much, but probably no one here has read it. If you do know (you should recognize it if you've read it), tell me what it is in a review, and I'll….give you a prize. Of some sort.

Oh and since I keep forgetting: I don't own Fire Emblem nor much of anything at all, really.

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It was a beautiful spring day. A bit cliché, maybe, but it was true. It was the perfect day to go out for a ride, as Eirika herself had thought when she was woken up by the first rays of the sun drifting through the curtains.

Unfortunately, Ephraim, her usual companion for these long rides in the countryside, or just wherever her horse felt like going, was busy with something or the other. And he'd told her (rather rudely, she thought) that he didn't have time to go haring off into the middle of nowhere.

And, because she was a princess (sometimes she hated hearing that) she wasn't allowed to leave the palace grounds by herself. She didn't want to bother any of the knights either. They had more important things to be doing, and she could certainly find plenty of things to keep her occupied for the day.

So she'd given up hope of being able to go out, when Seth came up to her. Eirika was a little surprised at first, but Seth politely explained that Ephraim had asked him to go riding with her. Eirika got the feeling that Seth wasn't particularly thrilled with the idea, but he'd offered, and that was enough for her.

They rode in silence, most of the way, but she was used to Seth's quiet nature and didn't make any attempt to draw him into conversation. They stopped to rest in a particularly pretty area of the country. Eirika spent a while just sitting on the ground and marveling at the magnificence at it all. The great trees stretching over their heads made her feel unusually small and unimportant, a sensation that she reveled in for a while.

Stealing a look over at Seth, she couldn't help but admire him. With the sunlight playing across his face, he really did look like a fairy-tale knight in shining armor. And thinking about that led to something she knew she probably shouldn't ask but did anyway.

"Seth…"

"My lady?" Startled out of his thoughts, the Silver Knight tipped his head over to look at her.

"Have you ever been kissed before?"

She would have sworn, before, that it was impossible to shock Seth into silence, but this did. Unable to speak, he shook his head.

"Then…unless you'd mind, could I kiss you?" Her heart was pounding so hard she could hardly get the words out.

He shook his head, eyes worried.

"My lady, I hardly think-"

For all his thinking, he didn't protest at all when their lips met.

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And that's the ending you all get. Maybe they went further. Maybe they didn't. It's up to you. I'm certainly not going to write more….yet. Please review!


	4. Only Human

**Casiana1: **I shall continue to add detail just for you then! Thanks for being so sweet!

**Nagasasu: **Glad you liked it! I'm always happy to see a new reviewer!!!!

**Meowsap: **My redundant-ness is fixed. Thank you for spotting that, I generally write pretty late at night when I can't always think clearly…I'm glad that it's fixed now XD

**Maxmagnus20019: **Thanks for the encouragement!

Mrrmm hmm, this one is a wee bit…angsty? And odd. The idea came to me when I was lying in bed half asleep, which is, of course, where all my weird ideas come from. But I'm rambling. On with the story. (me don't own Fire Emblem, either) Special thanks to my sharp-eyed reviewers who caught a typo on this one!

So we both know that what we're doing is wrong.

For the first time in my life I've abandoned my duty for my own personal desires.

It doesn't bother me as much as it should. But when I'm here, in her arms, I don't worry about that.

I know that later, when I'm in my own bed, alone, memories of the time we've spent together will flood through my mind to haunt me.

I know that I should remind myself of what it is I'm here for, that I became a knight for my country, not for my princess.

But it feels so right here, to hold her, to become as close to her as any two humans can ever become, that I can't regret it. Not now, not ever.

I may have given in to my weakness, I may have set aside duty and broken my knight's vow.

But I won't wish that we'd never done this. Maybe I am not perfect, maybe I'm not the perfect man everyone thinks I am.

But I'm only human. And no human is ever truly perfect.

Next one up oughta be a song fic. We'll see how that turns out. And yes, this one is short, but I couldn't write more without repeating myself…I do like this one. It's…philosophical and DEEP. Yeah.


	5. Blurry

**Maxmagnus20019: **Thank you for your sharp eyes! The error is now fixed, and thanks for the encouragement!

**MeowSap: **Yar, song lyrics aren't allowed, so although it isn't as good, you'll just have to look the lyrics up to fully get what I'm trying to tell you. Thanks for the review!

**Casiana1: **It would be interesting to see one like that from Eirika's point of view, wouldn't it? I might try that!

**anime/videogame freak: **I enjoyed your very indepth review XP Thanks for the review though, hope you continue to keep reading!

Inspired by the song Blurry by Puddle of Mudd. I kinda heard part of the lyrics wrong. So it's not…quite in tune with the song? But it's pretty close? Sort of. You should go listen to the song itself, or at least look up the lyrics to get a better feel of this. Anyway, interesting take on what could happen…And oh yes, spoilers for the end of the game. Oh and (keeps rambling) I apologize ahead of time for typos. My keyboard hates my new mouse (they're both wireless optical thingies) so it kinda…skips keys sometimes.

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Seth paused, lifting his head from the letter he was writing, turning to gaze out the window of his room. He watched the breeze brush against the trees outside, and then glanced down at his desk again.

_I can't send this to her…What will she think of me? _

He groaned softly, crumpled up the paper with his hands and let it drop to the floor. He'd made such a mess of things he wasn't sure he could ever explain how he really felt to her.

Memories of the last time they'd spoken, before she'd left, came back to him, unwanted.

"You can't help me with everything, Seth. You…you don't know what it was like to see Lyon like that."

"Princess…maybe if you talked to me about it, instead of spending so much time alone. Everyone is worried about you."

He hadn't meant to make her upset. He'd only thought that maybe it would have helped if she could let out some of her feelings, and if not to him, then to who? Throughout her life, he'd always been there for her, and he hadn't thought that this would be any different.

But it was, and she was right, he didn't understand why.

"Can you take away the pain I felt, Seth? Can you make me forget what Lyon looked like when he died? He told me he _loved _me, after I killed him! Can you help me with that?"

"My lady…I…"

He'd bent close to her, so close that they were almost touching, and whispered,

"If there is any way I could help you, Eirika, I would hear it."

It was the first time he'd ever called her by her given name alone.

But she only gave him a stricken look, pushed him away and fled.

A few days later, she'd left for Frelia. She'd left no word to him, nothing. He knew he shouldn't have expected anything, but it hurt to have her go without even a goodbye.

Seth knew he'd crossed over some subtle, invisible boundary that divided the two of them. Although he'd lived his life knowing that she was unreachable, part of him had always wanted to believe that she'd loved him too.

That part of him wasn't so sure now that it was true.

_But no one ever said love was easy…And even if she doesn't want me, I'll still be here for her. I'll…still be here to protect her, even…even if she doesn't desire that protection any more. If, perhaps, someday, we can straighten all this out, I…I would be happy with that. And for now…I have to admit that I made a mistake, and I must live with it._

_Maybe in time…she'll tell me the words I always wanted to hear…_


	6. Like the Rain

**Maxmagnus20019: **Yes. The first glimpse of angst you get from me XD More will be coming, I have an idea for one that's very depressing…

**Casiana1: **I had some arguments with myself over that too…A reviewer on one of my other fics told me that sometimes people don't always act the way you expect them too, I try to treat my characters as if they were real people, and that's just how it turned out to be…I'm glad you like my added detail though!

**Meowsap: **I write tons of angst. (laughs) Do tell me if I get overboard with it though, I don't want to make my stories completely emo.

I think we all agree Seth could use a hug XD (Do you all read the author notes I leave you? I do try to address anything you bring up…)

The first line of this would not get out of my head. It…was irritating, so I had to write it. Um…inspired by looking up at the sky on a rainy day. My friend says it's depressing. I'm not sure. It's sort of…poetic. Ish. Anyway, this underwent some heavy editing so I'm SURE there aren't any typos, and all bits of redundantness were chopped out.

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Because something about Seth always reminded me of rain.

He was gentle and quiet, like the soft falling of a summer shower, and when he was there, I always felt serene, and content. When he told me, in that way of his, that everything would be all right, I believed him.

And when he touched me, when he held me, it felt like the kiss of rain upon my bare skin, cool, soothing. When I fell asleep in his arms, I knew that when I awoke, he'd be there, cradling me, protecting me. Like the rain, he made me feel safe.

Although he wasn't always around, he'd be back, like the rain. I wouldn't always know when he'd return, but I knew he would come back to me.

And like the earth, I could not live for long without my rain.


	7. Backwards Glance

**MeowSap: **I love saying ish. XD Thank you for being so sweeeet XD

**Casiana1: **Hmm, good idea, although you'll have to settle for non-rhyming poems. I can't rhyme to save my life. XD

**Maxmagnus20019: **I really liked that chapter! (cries) It's nice to know I'm appreciated though!

**Nagasasu: **Yaaaay! I read some of your fics, and they're very nice! Thanks for reviewing!

This was inspired by…a scene in, I think Redwall. Not sure. But anyway. It's kind of sweet, this one. No proofreading whatsoever, so forgive me and let me know if I'm being redundant or whatever.

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She didn't really see the point in tournaments.

It was supposed to celebrate Renais's rebuilding efforts, although she wasn't sure how watching a group of knights trying to unhorse each other while crowds cheered them was going to help anything.

But it made Ephraim happy, and the knights, who were, after all, the ones running around getting themselves whacked, seemed to enjoy it. Part of the fun, for them, was showing off the scarves that their female 'sponsors' had given them. Almost every knight wore one tied to his arm, a brilliantly colored scarf bearing the colors of the lady's house.

Almost every knight. Seth, she noticed, bore no scarf, even in the final few minutes he had to himself before riding out into the center of the arena.

Eirika had a scarf, one that she'd been nervously clutching all morning. It was sky blue, trimmed with thread of gold, and Renais's coat of arms embroidered in the center.

She'd meant to give it to Seth, as long as he wasn't wearing one, but seeing him, she felt a little shy and embarrassed.

_What if he says no? What if he doesn't want it?_

Eirika shook her head against those thoughts and made herself move forward. The paladin saw her and smiled. The smile turned into a barely-hid blush when he realized what she was holding out to him.

He thanked her, and watched; smiling slightly, as she carefully tied it on his arm.

The trumpet sounded for the competitors to enter. Seth bowed to her, always proper, and swung himself up onto his horse.

As he urged the horse toward the entry gate, he paused slightly and turned back.

He had a hint of a smile on his face, and the beauty of his face made her breath catch in her throat.

Seth met her eyes for a moment more, then turned around and rode forth, ready to fight, to claim victory for his princess.


	8. In Your Arms

**Maxmagnus20019: **Thanks for your support!

**Nagasasu: **I smiled when I read your review. Thank you so much!

**Casiana1: **Yes, sequels. The bane of my existence. Just kidding. I WILL do a sequel, and this chapter was going to be it, but inspiration struck first. I will try to fill out the idea for the sequel throughout this week and get it up this weekend. Thank you for your thoughtful ideas and suggestions, I really appreciate them!

**MeowSap: **I haven't seen that movie!! I get most of my ideas from books because I read so much. XD Wauuugh commas. I hate commas. I know I get too caught up in them! I am trying to correct so much at once and it's hard!! XD But thanks for reviewing! I love all my reviewers!

Oh I have weird dreams. That's all I'm saying for this one.

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Eirika always did hate being the one left behind. Now that Renais was almost fully rebuilt, there was no need for her to go off fighting with the knights as she had in the war.

So she had to wait for them to return and she prayed every time they left that all of them, and one knight in particular, would return safely.

She was always one of the first to the gates upon the announcement of their return. Today, especially, she was worried for her knight. They'd been out longer than anticipated, and she'd heard that the fighting had been especially rough.

Standing on her tiptoes, peering through the crowds of other women who'd come to see their sweethearts return, she tried to look for the familiar figure amidst the horde of armored men.

He wasn't among the first to come through, as he usually was. Eirika felt her heart tighten as the first panicked thoughts came to her mind. She tried to keep the fear away; he'd come back for her, he always had. This time would be no different. She was sure of it.

The relief that flooded through her when she saw his face was overwhelming.

Without thinking, without worrying, Eirika launched herself into his arms.

Seth, unprepared, was pushed back a few steps, but when he regained his balance, he wrapped his arms around her.

He felt good, safe, secure. Within the circle of his arms, she closed her eyes and relished the feeling of being so close to him, breathing in his scent, memorizing the feel of his body against hers.

And as they stood there, oblivious to the world around them, Eirika closed her eyes and prayed.

Prayed that Seth would always come back to her, and that when he did, she could always find peace and happiness in his arms.


	9. Don't

**Nagasasu: **I get what you're saying. I reread the story and yeah, I see what you mean. She's not so much a princess any more, she's just one of the women waiting for their loves…Wheee, I made you get an image in your mind! Yay!

**Casiana1: **XD I do not like describing settings. At all. As you've noticed, I'm sure, I don't do much in the way of place descriptions for the most part, because well, I want part of it to be up to you all, the readers. (It's not at ALL because I'm lazy. Nevar.)

**MeowSap: **YES! No corrections! A first! XD Ahh, the dangers of not proofreading. These stories are usually published as soon as I finish writing them, with little to no editing, so any mistakes are because of that…

**Maxmagnus20019: **Thanks for the encouragement! I love having such enthusiastic and helpful reviewers! It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside…heee heee….

Ok, I know I promised you that the next chapter would be a sequel to Backwards Glance. I'm so sorry! I actually do have part of that written, but I was looking for Seth and Eirika fanart on deviantart, and I found a picture (not of them, actually) entitled "Don't." And then the evil thought, "OMG, this would make a GREAT drabble" hopped in. I really am sorry. I'll finish and edit the sequel later today or tomorrow, hopefully.

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Just don't.

Because I can't trust myself to resist the temptation.

Because every time I'm near you, I start thinking things I have no right to.

Because those thoughts lead to dreams I never want to wake up from.

So just don't.

Don't take it the wrong way- I would welcome these feelings, this desire if only things were different. If only I could love you, without worry for my duty.

Don't forget about me- I wouldn't want that. But don't think of me as a man who loves you. To you, I should be nothing more than a loyal vassal.

Please, don't. Don't tempt me, don't lead me on. I don't know if I could stop myself.

I don't know if I'd want to.

So don't think those thoughts, don't look at me the way you do, with those longing eyes.

I'll be with you for as long as I can. But don't expect more from me. I can't give you what you want. I can never give you what you deserve.

But don't…don't keep telling yourself you're in love with me. For both of us. Don't.


	10. Sequel: Backwards Glance

**Maxmagnus20019: **Thanks! I'm glad that Seth seems in character. He's hard to write for sometimes XD

**Nagasasu: **I was thinking the same thing…hmmm….

**Casiana1: **Heh. Angst. Yeah, I looooove angst. Seth and Eirika can have their share of sweet, sappy moments, though, so I haven't been torturing them as much as I did with Roy and Riza (looks innocent) Anyway, I do appreciate your criticism, don't be afraid to tell me if you don't like something!

**MeowSap: **Angst!! I love it! I love writing it!!!!!! XD Thanks!

This…is the sequel **Casiana1 **requested. Personally, I hate this chapter. But. It's written, so I can stop worrying about it. Ugh. It's bad. Really.

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Even years later, when asked about that one tournament, he gets shy and evasive. He doesn't really remember it, he says, it's all just a blur.

She laughs and says that he's being modest, as usual. He was a real champion that day, a true hero bearing Renais's colors.

He'll shake his head and tell her that she's giving him too much credit, as usual. He's never held himself as a hero or a champion, just a knight bound to his duty.

It's an excuse, she always thought. He never wanted fame or fortune, and now that it came to him, he didn't have a clue as to what to do with it.

That day, he wasn't any different from the man she'd known her whole life.

It was just more apparent then it ever was before, that Seth was someone special.

And Eirika couldn't let someone that special go….

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I told you it was bad. Just forget about this chapter. Anyway, I do have something important to discuss…this is posted up on my profile too, so look there for more details, but I could really use a beta reader. If anyone has time and energy to spare, please tell me!


	11. She Loves Me

Inspired by a Peanuts cartoon. No lie.

And I'm too lazy to do author notes beyond that. So sorry about delays and such. I've just been rather busy. New school semester and all that, means I've got more homework, especially as I've got to start studying for the AP test. Oops, I'm rambling. Anyway, updates will be slow for a while. I apologize (cries)  
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_She loves me, she loves me not…she loves me…_

The breeze ruffled Seth's hair slightly as he half-heartedly plucked the last petals off of a small, purple flower.

_What's a flower going to tell me? If I can't tell what she's thinking, what good is this going to do?_

He sighed, letting the flower fall from his fingers onto the grass beneath.

_It's not how she feels that's the problem. Not exactly. It's getting the courage to tell her. Ridiculous, isn't it? I can keep my head in the midst of a raging battle, but when it comes to love…_

_I'm afraid of getting rejected…_

His gaze settled on the dropped flower.

_What did it say…that she loves me? Then maybe…I can trust in a flower…this time._

_If it gives me the courage to say, I love you…_


	12. Training

First offs, big thanks to **wolfraven80 **for agreeing to be my beta. I think she basically deserves co-author credit just for keeping me vaguely sane while writing, which is much harder than it sounds (laughs).

**Maxmagnus20019: **Thank you for your encouragement!

**Casiana1: **I'm glad you liked it, and I do like your feedback. The only way for me to improve is if people tell me what needs work. I'm very grateful for your comments and advice.

**MeowSap: **Yay! I'm not the only procrastinator XD

**Neonlights: **I'm glad you like both my writing and Seth and Eirika XD I've got my beta already, but thanks for the offer and the review!

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"Just focus. Keep your eyes on me; I'm your opponent. In a duel, you can't let yourself be distracted. Remember everything I've taught you and you'll be fine."

The two stepped into battle stance. Eirika took a deep breath and launched her attack.

"That's it. Move your feet now, or you'll- my lady! Are you all right?"

Seth's worried face loomed over her. Eirika blinked a couple of times, then attempted to stand up.

"I'll be okay…I told you not to hold back, Seth. If I'm going to learn to defend myself, I'll have to get used to people trying to knock me off my feet. You don't have to worry so much about me."

The paladin tilted his head slightly to the left and frowned.

"I know you asked me to train you, but I can't just go knocking you around like I do with the recruits, princess. Your brother would kill me."

Eirika sighed.

"It's because I'm a princess that I need to learn how to fight. What if you can't protect me, Seth?"

She took a step backwards involuntarily as Seth stepped closer to her.

"I will always be there to protect you, princess. It is…after all, my duty."

_And my heart's greatest wish…_


	13. Over and Over

Er…I can't remember who I responded to in the last chapter and who I didn't. So. Um. I swear I'll keep track this time, and just tell you all that I love you, and I want you to review. Thanks again to **wolfraven80 **for beta-ing. (cheers) Sorry it takes me so long to update, and this story is inspired by the song Over and Over by Three Days Grace.

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I don't even know why I'm doing this…I swore to myself that I'd stop thinking of you as a woman, that I would put aside everything I'd ever felt for you.

I knew, even then, that it was a lie, but…why is it so hard for me to just…give up?

Why am I still chasing after you? Even if I do find you, what would I say?

Could I find it in myself to tell you the truth? That I've fallen for you over and over, but never had the courage to do anything about it?

I pause for a moment to get my bearings, and there you are, no more than a few feet away. I know it'd be best for both of us if I just walk away, if I could well and truly forget my love.

So why can't I? Why am I destined to fall in love with you over and over?

You turn around and we watch each other for a few moments.

I know now…I must tell you now, or I never can…


	14. The Gift

Oh my goodness, an update this soon? I think the world must be ending. Enjoy it, when school starts back up again, I won't have that much spare time (smiles).

**Maxmagnus20019**: Thanks. I'm glad you keep reading (hugs)

**MeowSap**: Yeah, it's running for a little while. Thanks for the review.

Special thanks to the beta, **wolfraven80**. You're allowed to be as nitpicky as you want about my writing. XD

And now…it's time for angst, mwahahahaha. This one is inspired by The Gift, which is from the group Seether.

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Sometimes at night when I can't sleep these thoughts plague me. Why I said the things I did, why I ever thought that I could be good enough for you.

When you told me that I was the only man you'd ever love, I know I was overjoyed.

But I don't deserve such devotion. Maybe someday, some man will, but it's not me. I'm just a knight who doesn't know his place.

And I lie here, staring at the ceiling again, wondering what I'm going to do next.

Wondering how I can get through another day feeling so ashamed of myself, knowing that I've overstepped my boundaries, broken all the rules.

What kind of man would do that?

I can't meet your eyes any more. I can't even look at myself in the mirror. Looking at my reflection, I see only a man who has no reason to believe in himself.

And I can't convince myself that it's not true. And if I can't believe in myself, how can I ask you to?


	15. Anywhere

**Nagasasu: **Ahhh angst. I love angst. Expect more of it.

**Maxmagnus20019: **Thank you for both the comment and the encouragement. Wheehee XD

**Casiana1: **My favorite anonymous reviewer is back! XD Thanks!

**MeowSap: **Nothing much to comment on?? How can it be?? XD Thank you!

This chapter is…Seth being vaguely philosophical. Fear it. XD Vague inspiration from Anywhere by Evanescence.

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I told you once that I wanted nothing more than to run somewhere far away with you…

The war is over now, you're safe now, but sometimes I still wonder…

If I asked you now to leave with me, what would your answer be?

If you could answer me just as a woman, not as a princess, would you be willing to leave behind your life for me?

Deep in my heart I know you can't. Nothing is ever that simple, especially in love. We both have responsibilities and duties that cannot be laid aside for so selfish a reason.

I would never ask you to, but…

I want to know if you feel as I do.

If you wish, as I do, for a chance to live a life of our own choosing.

If you would go with me to anywhere far away…


	16. Hanging by a Moment

Yes I know it's been forever since I last wrote. Summer vacation can do that to you XD

Most special thanks to **wolfraven80 **for going through many random discussions and other...stuff XD

I don't have the energy to thank all my reviewers personally, but believe me, I read, love and appreciate your reviews more than you could imagine! I love you all!

This ficlet thing inspired by the song Hanging by a Moment by Lifehouse.

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I wouldn't call it desperation, exactly, more like a longing to escape from the way I've been living.

I know I swore that I'd never speak to you about…us again, but I'm tired of locking myself inside a lie.

And every day, you're the one I think of most. Every morning, you're the one I wake up for, the one I want to spend the rest of my life protecting.

I'm living for this, for you, and I can't help thinking that you should know this.

It's up to you, what decision you make. But this time, I'm not leaving until you give me an answer.

If you tell me no, then that's the end of it, really. That's your answer, your choice. I wouldn't have you lie to me, after all. All I ask from you is the truth.

And if the truth you give me is what I want to hear, then…

It's all worth the risk, isn't it?


	17. The Music

I love **wolfraven80**. She is the win. Mucho thanks to **piratelore, Maxmagnus20019, Casiana1, Neonlights, Nagasasu, **and **Silvara **for reviewing. I hope you all like this chapter; it's a long one for me haha. This is AU (I neglected to mention this on DA and caused some confusion) and the song that inspired it all is The Music by David Usher. It's a beautiful song, and I think this chapter works better if you listen to the song while reading it. So please do it. For me XD

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One…two…three, four, five…

It's just a silly game, really, counting the cars that go past as I'm standing here, watching the world beneath me go about its ways. It's a game I used as a child to pass the time, and I guess those memories of long ago might help to calm my nerves now.

If only.

I can't help sighing and running my fingers along the edge of this window, trying to find some way to settle down. I haven't seen you in so long, I guess, that I'm not sure what to expect, I don't know how much you've changed.

Ten, twelve, thirteen…

I feel the breeze stirring again, even at this time of night, and with it is carried the faintest hint of a song I feel I've heard before. I strain forward just a little more, shifting my weight as I try to hear more clearly. Certainly not an easy task at any time in New York City, it's even worse now at night, but the melody seems to grow stronger with every moment.

Twenty, twenty-one, twenty-two, twenty-three…

It's a guitar, definitely; perhaps some desperate busker who didn't earn enough money during the day time has come to try his luck now. The music is almost irresistible; although soft, it wafts its way up steadily, and I try once again to remember where I've heard this tune.

That's right…you were humming this tune, before. A long time ago, back when things were still…normal between us. Back when most of my days were spent with you, when I could be with you and feel…at peace.

It had to change, didn't it? Change comes as surely as the years, and I'm helpless to stop either one.

Twenty-seven…twenty-eight…twenty-nine, thirty…

I know it was inevitable that you would fall for someone else, but knowing and accepting are two different things. And while I said all I ever wanted was for you to be happy, I think some part of you knew I was lying.

The wind carries a burst of that song again, and it's all I can do to pull myself back to the present. The past might carry some of my fondest memories with you, but tonight is about what the future might hold. For both of us.

Thirty-four, thirty-five…thirty-six…

I want to ask you so many things. I want to know what you've been doing these last few years. I want to know if you missed me, if you thought of me as much as I have of you.

I want to be a part of your world again.

Thirty-eight, thirty-nine…

The knock on the door, although I'm expecting it, sets my pulse racing. It's hard to keep my hands from trembling as I undo the locks and open the door.

You look…still lovely, but not as innocent as the girl I once knew. There's something more guarded, more reserved about your expression.

It is a comfort, though, to see how stiffly you're standing and to realize you're just as nervous as I am.

And then you hear the song streaming its way in from the still-open window, and you smile suddenly.

With that smile, everything is all right again.

And I'm sure, I know, that the future is bright between us.


	18. Romance Novels

Eirika started talking to me in the wee hours of the morning XD So that's where this comes from. It's not the update I've been promising people in reviews/on my DA- that's still not done XD sorry. I swear it's good though. It'll be even awesomer when I finish it XD Sorry for the lack of updates recently as well. Real life has kind of bit me in the butt with testing and all. I'm sure I had more to say but I can't remember anything. Oh yeah, thanking reviewers...

thanks to **Maxmagnus20019,** **Silvara, Neonlights, Nagasasu** (love you and your long reviews!), and **MeowSap**. Extra special thanks and a cookie go to **Knight.of.Paramore **who left me the longest review I have ever seen in my life. Of course, my ever-patient beta, **wolfraven80**, gets a hug and a lot of love for putting up with me XD

--

"So how come all the books you read are written by women?" Eirika tapped the cover of Tana's latest read. "I mean, if the whole point of these things is to talk about men, then wouldn't a more…I don't know, realistic view come from men?"

Tana rolled her eyes. "Then it wouldn't be _romantic."_

"But that's like saying men aren't romantic. These things give us unrealistic expectations."

"I don't think they're unrealistic." Tana folded her arms.

"Any man who would wait for a woman for…" Eirika paused to scan the back cover, "Five years is unrealistic. No man is always going to…oh, remember anniversaries, or always be attentive, or…" She narrowed her eyes. "What's that look for?"

"Did you become this blind or were your born with it?"

"What do you mean?"

Tana sighed. "Oh come on. Seth. You must have noticed."

In spite of herself, Eirika blushed. "Tana, it's just your imagination. He's not-"

"Oh right. He doesn't always happen to be watching you when he thinks nobody's looking. He doesn't always agree to spar with you, even when he's tired or-"

"Tana." Eirika's face was now a deep shade of red.

Tipping her head back so she was staring at the sky, Tana sighed again. "If he wrote a romance novel, I'd read it."


	19. The Language of Flowers

Wikipedia/Google is a godsend. Honestly. I have always wanted to do a chapter like this, based around the language of flowers (which I find fascinating), and once I started off, Tana and Eirika just started talking to me. It was great. Thank you to **MeowSap**, **Maxmagnus200019**, **Nagasasu**, **piratelore**, **Talren**, **JFate** (thank you for reviewing this chapter in advance too!), **Kaira Sakamoto**, and **Silvara** for reviewing the last chapter. Yes, I forgot to mention that it was AU. This is not, but it continues in rather the same vein. Sort of. Extra special thanks again to **wolfraven80** who is probably the most patient and coolest beta reader EVER. I love you! XD

And to everyone who said that Seth would make a great romance novel writer…I have GOT to try that idea sometime XD

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"I think you should put some acacia branches in it."

"It looks like a _tree, _Eirika."

"But it stands for…" Eirika paused and searched for the entry, frowning at the small book in her hands. "It stands for a secret, chaste love. Wouldn't that be a good message to send?"

"It sounds so stuffy! What about…" Tana grabbed the book from Eirika and flipped through the pages. "Violet roses mean love at first sight. Would that be good?"

Eirika rolled her eyes. "Tana, the first time you met Ephraim, we were four, and you yelled at him because he kept sticking frogs in your hair."

Tana ignored her. "Or how about a red carnation? That means…my heart aches for you. That's sweet, isn't it?"

"A bit melodramatic, I think." Eirika sat down next to Tana and peered over her shoulder. "I think you should try forget-me-nots."

"True love? Are you sure?" Tana frowned at the book for a few more seconds then nodded. "All right, forget-me-nots it is. Do you think Ephraim will know what they mean?"

"Probably not off the top of his head, but I'm sure he'd remember that there _is _a language of flowers. Our etiquette teacher was quite fond of it. At any rate, if he doesn't, I'll push him in the right direction."

Tana was fairly bouncing at this point. "Thank you! You're the greatest friend!" She paused for a moment to meet Eirika's eyes. "What about you? Don't you want to send a flower to anyone?"

Her face flushed, Eirika shook her head. "No. It's not like it would do any good…"

"But Eirika, it's Festival time! You're supposed to send flowers to the man you like! You're supposed to take risks!"

"But…"

"No. No buts. Let me find flowers for you…wait." Tana flipped furiously through the book. "Almond blossoms, for hope. Box tree, for stoicism. That's Seth in a nutshell-"

"Wait, who said this was for Seth?" Eirika attempted to take the book back from Tana. "What gave you that idea?"

"What _wouldn't?_ He's all you seem to want to talk about with me." Tana grinned and continued reading.

"A four-leafed clover means be mine. You should include that. Oh and…a garden daisy."

"How is that different from a regular daisy?"

"I think it just means not a wild one. Don't you want to know what it stands for?"

Tana was answered with a sigh.

"It means, I share your sentiments. You _have_ to use daisies."

"Tana-"

"Come on, let's go raid the gardens!"

--

_Purple lilac, to realize love._


	20. Loss

Man, it's been a while since the last update, huh? Sorry. Been rather lazy. XD Anyways, return to the angst mwahahahahah! Thanks to everyone who reviewed last chapter, can't remember who reviewed when but thanks anyway! And **Talren**, you pay too much attention to details! XD Extra love to the beta, **wolfraven80**. I'm sorry I don't write more happy stuff! XD

--

It's at night that it hits her the hardest. When she wakes up and finds herself alone in her suddenly too-large bed, she can't breathe, can't do anything except reach out, somehow hoping that he'll be there.

Some part of her knows that it would be better for her to forget what it was like to be loved by him. If she could let go of those memories of his warmth, his smile, the light in his eyes when he looked at her…

If she could forget what it was when he kissed her, maybe she could sleep again.

But she can't forget, or can't let herself. To forget would be to lose the knowledge that, at one point, he did love her.

And even though he had chosen his duty over her, even though he'd told her that loving her had been a mistake, that they could never work out a future together, she can't make herself move on.

Despite everything, he has her heart.

It's at night she feels that loss most strongly.


	21. Love Realized

Thanks to everyone who reviewed last chapter and the chapters before. I appreciate you all very much and love you more than you could possibly imagine! Therefore, this chapter is a happy one, because we could all use some happiness, no?

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For several years now, I felt that any relationship between us, even something as innocuous as friendship, would be impossible. My feelings for you were simply too strong for me to trust myself around you. I had no reason to hope for love from you anyway, and you were always so calm and reserved.

So how did we end up here? How did I suddenly become so at ease with a man I used to be afraid to touch?

Always, I'd been called brave, and I guess I was, in some ways. I spoke my mind when I could, and I had faith in my ability to take care of myself. Doubting myself, feeling tongue-tied, these weren't feelings I was used to. In matters of the heart, I was an innocent.

So how do I find myself reaching out to you, desiring the closeness of our bodies, sliding my hand across your back to feel as much of you as I can? It's hard to breathe now as I run my fingers against the soft skin at the back of your neck, reveling in your warmth and newness, all the while questioning this, us. I wonder what you must think of me now.

I don't want to worry about that, not now. I'm determined to enjoy this contact while it lasts. I want to memorize the way it feels to have my hands on you, the way your own hands brush against my back and make me shiver. I want to breathe in your scent, and wrap myself in it. And although a part of me is afraid to admit it, I want you to kiss me.

I can't tell if you're reading my thoughts, or if we simply have the same need. You shift slightly, moving away only so you can lean forward and press your lips against mine. Without thinking, I move closer, and my lips part under yours. I guess you take this as an invitation; one breath later and you deepen the kiss. For one moment, I can't move, and then I'm responding the only way I know how, while the thought occurs, faintly, that I haven't the faintest idea of what I'm doing.

When we move apart, finally, we're both breathing hard. Although I know it's silly of me, I'm a little afraid to meet your eyes. I'm a little afraid of what I might read there.

The feel of your hand on my cheek makes me start, forces a sharp inhalation of breath. But you only gently, very gently, tip my head up so our eyes meet.

And then you smile.


	22. Numb

Thank you so much for your lovely reviews. You all are amazing!

(brief explanation pasted in from when I'd posted this on deviantArt.)

I'll be the first to admit I'm a crier. Little things can send me off. Big things can set me off. I've cried so hard before that I couldn't cry anymore. I've cried myself sick. (Yes, I'm pitiful. STFU. XD) But sometimes, when something really awful has happened, I can't cry. I can feel that terrible welling sadness, but there are no tears to cry. That's what this chapter is for.

--

She knows from the moment she sees the messenger's face.

She knows what the news will be, knows the words that he'll say, turning that death, that loss, into one of countless others.

In the deepest corners of her mind, she knew it would come, some day. The odds were simply piled too high.

And Seth had never been one to stand aside.

She knows the others are watching her. They're expecting her to cry, or to faint, or some other suitably dramatic reaction.

In truth, she had thought she would cry. She hadn't been able to cry for her father; at least she could cry for this loved one, but…

The man's words sweep over her in a rush.

_Line of duty…sacrifice…valiant effort…hero's death…_

It's not that she doesn't feel the pain. It's there, a raw, pulsing ache across her heart.

It feels like she's lost a limb.

She feels sick.

As soon as the messenger leaves, she politely excuses herself. While leaving, she can feel their eyes upon her still, pitying.

She doesn't stop until she's reached the garden.

The feeling of nausea is stronger than before. She crouches next to a tree with overhanging branches and wraps her arms around her knees. Dimly, she realizes that she must be in shock.

Some part of her hopes that she'll never come out of it. To face the prospect of a life without him…

Shivering, she hugs herself tighter.

_He'll come back. He has to come back. He promised. _

She closes her eyes and thinks of the last time she saw him, when he'd smiled, hugged her awkwardly, and said he'd miss her.

Later, Ephraim tries to talk to her.

_I know how much you cared for him…_

She manages to work up what she thinks passes for a smile, and tells him that she'll be all right, she just needs some time alone.

In the dark, she sits in the grass, head on her knees, chilled by the night air.

She wishes she could cry. He deserves her tears, after all.

But she can't.

There's nothing there anymore.


	23. Perfect

Because we all need a little fluff in our lives.

--

It's dark.

The bed is hard- she's not sure what it's made of, but she's sure the floor couldn't be much more uncomfortable.

The sheets are thin, but the blanket is too thick.

The pillow is as unpromising as the rest.

She doesn't care about these things- not right now.

Right now, he is the only thing that matters.

It's not something she ever really thought possible. She'd dreamed of it, more often than she'd like to admit, but she's always tried to ground herself in reality, or at least what she thought reality would be.

To her, reality never consisted of this.

To her, reality was long nights spent battling those nightmares and fears she'd never confessed to anyone, not even her brother.

Nights were the time she spent crying, when no one else could see her, because she had to stay strong. A real queen didn't cry, at least not in front of her people.

A real queen, she felt, wouldn't be so afraid of being alone, wouldn't wake up in the darkness reaching for someone she thought she'd never have.

Someone who is sleeping next to her.

They're touching; his arm is around her and further down, their legs are entwined. She can feel the warmth of his body, and, if she concentrates, the beat of his heart. In this darkness, she can't see well, can barely make out his face, but she doesn't need to. If she wants to, she can reach up and trace his features with her fingers.

This idea is too tempting to resist, and she traces the lines of his face, gently. He stirs and she pulls her hand back, almost guiltily, suddenly shy. He blinks a few times, focuses on her face and smiles, tightens his arm around her.

Neither of them speak. There will be time enough, later, for words.

Right now, words will only complicate things, and that's not what she wants, not tonight.

Tonight, despite the bed and the sheets and everything else, she wants to remember as perfect.

Because it is.


End file.
